So you’ve managed to score that first date with your crush, or with someone you’ve been talking to online. Now, all the nerves are hitting you. Don’t worry that’s perfectly normal. We’ve got you covered!
The co-founder andCEO at Lunch Actually, Violet Lim, who is a top dating expert and best-selling author, has curate d this special article for all you singles with tips (and tricks) to ace that FIRST DATE!
1 – Before the date – Grooming – How should one look for a first date? Calming techniques?
Pleasant and presentable is the way to go. But remember to dress according to the occasion.If it’s a movie go with a nice jeans ensemble for both ladies and gentlemen. However, if you are having a meal at a fine dining restaurant, you might want to up your outfit game. A nice shirt for the gents, and in my opinion, a cute cocktail dress always does the trick for the ladies. When in doubt, it’s always good to be overdressed than underdressed!
Guys, remember to keep it neat! Comb your hair, trim your nose hair and shave. If you have a tendency to sweat excessively, a dash of cologne goes a long way. For the ladies, remember this golden rule- do not overdo on the perfume. French perfumer Annick Goutal famously said, “Once it goes beyond your two foot or three foot personal space, perhaps you put on a bit more than you want to.” Also remember, If you are applying makeup, keep it light and fresh. Guys are usually put off by the caked-up look. Wear something you are comfortable with, there’s no point wearing 6 inch stilettos if you trip over on your first date!
You are bound to have butterflies in your stomach on your first date. That’s a good sign! It means you are excited to meet him/her. Try to have at least an hour or two before the date to yourself i.e. not tied up with work, or right after a soccer match. This will give you time to calm yourself down, relax, and look forward to the date. You can call up a friend prior to the date for moral support as well!
2 – During the date – Manners & Behaviour? How close is too close? What should you talk about and what not to talk about?
On your first date, do be weary of personal space. You might feel caught up in telling a story but is she on the same page as you? You can quickly find this out by observing his/her body language. Tilting backwards, crossed arms and legs facing away from you are all signs that your date is not feeling comfortable. Read the room and adjust accordingly, do not get discouraged tho, some people just take awhile to warm up.
Trying to show interest but not wanting to come on too strong? We suggest bending forward while you are conversing. Nodding your head and tilting it slightly while smiling are all great ways to show interest. For both gents and ladies, compliment each other! It is easy to get so caught up in your nerves you forget to put the other person at ease. For men especially note if she is exposing the palms of her hand or playing with her hair, she’s probably flirting with you! For a women, if he is mirroring your body language and positioning, you know he’s flirting back.
Talking about your hobbies and your passions in life are great ways to create a friendly atmosphere. Travel stories or university throwbacks are also great to create a picture of who you are. However, steer clear of the following: politics, religion, sex and ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. And always show your positive side. No one wants to go out with someone who is always complaining and comes off extremely negative. Keep smiling and the date will go fine!
3 – After the date – If it went well and you want to go out again, how do you approach it? Should you call him/her? Should the other one call you? If it didn’t go well. How do you turn a date down?
While there are no straight and fast rules when it comes to dating what works for some might backfire on others.
Some experts advise that the girls should never make the first move. But in this modern day and age, we feel that ladies should initiate if they are so inclined!. It’s always nice to just drop your date a Whatsapp message on the same day, or the day after to thank him/her for the great time you had. It is also a great way to subtly suggest a second date or at least show your interest in having one.
Alternatively. if you are not interested in the person, and he/she asks you out again, always be polite and courteous. The direct approach would be to tell the person that you would like to stay friends so as not to lead him/her on. A gentle approach would be to blame your busy schedule if he/she suggests another date. Most people get the message after a few failed attempts.Finally, don’t think about first dates as meeting your potential husband or wife (cos of course that would add a lot of pressure on yourself!) Rather, just look at is as meet
Finally, don’t think about first dates as meeting your potential husband or wife (cos of course that would add a lot of pressure on yourself!) Rather, just look at is as meeting a new friend!
Love at first sight rarely ever happens in real life, so if your first date doesn’t blow you away, we recommend keeping in touch and staying friendly. Chemistry can grow in time, and the more you get to know someone, the more you can a connection grows. You’re not doing yourself any favours if you judge someone too quickly.
Wanting to meet eligible singles and attend on great dates, try Lunch Actually! The first consultation is free, so you can find out more about how they can help you!
This article was brought to you in partnership with Lunch Actually.